Performance Metrics and the Fruit Pie Fallacy

Welp, here we are again, Socket Seekers. Thanks for reading my blog when you could have just gone to get pie instead. Pie solves everything—at least, that was how I was raised. I mean, the borderline diabetes not so much, but... don't take advice from me. So,

Tropical Mansions and Incomplete Transitions

Socket Seekers, I might be turning into my mother. You see, she never really cared for me, and I would say the feeling is mutual now. I seem to have all these grand ideas for projects. I get all excited and I buy everything. Then, I do this unbelievable thing

Four Quadrants and Four Identical Albums

Socket Seekers, you are lucky I am not feeling chatty today, I am writing this in an explicit effort to resist doing my therapy homework—an assignment that will probably help me, but we don't acknowledge such things here. I have had to do these exact same four-

The Tears for Fears Deflection Strategy

Socket Seekers, This isn't a fun post, I had therapy today. We talked about telling my brother that I am trans, and also that I have a deep affinity for ’80s new age music. She noted that hiding this massive secret is making it incredibly difficult for me

The Fog-Shifting Protocol

Welcome to the big time shift, Socket Seekers. The past few weeks, I have been living in a legally prescribed, drug-fueled fog. In an effort to find my way out—and to test if I can tolerate the verbal garbage that the human race insists on spewing—yesterday I

Gas Station Sushi and 42 Fucking Bolts

Socket Seekers, you are in for a ride today. My Lexapro must be in overdrive, so here we go. I have been over-analyzing my past relationships with everyone in my life. I do this cool thing where I stop responding, or when I do, I don't want

The Cheese Encrusted Self-Loathing

Welcome back, Socket Seekers, After that therapy session, the part of me that lives in the shadows—and tells me to order a cheese encrusted burrito from Taco Bell to go with my three normal tacos—decided to show its truly dark side. I had these dark thoughts that I

Testosterone Prison, and the Sibling Invasion

I am feeling trapped in a testosterone prison. I don't know why people keep wanting me to be that person. He was so angry. I am letting the testosterone win the facial hair battle for now, but I am planning a major campaign to strap each one of

The Blueprint for a Repressed Mind

Welcome to my nightmare, Socket Seekers. Today we are going to learn about nightmares, and I will be using mine from last night as the primary case study. In this drug-influenced "dream," I was actually happy. I know you didn't know that was an emotion

The Blueprint for Automotive Mutilation

This one is for the Jeep Socket Seekers, I am currently trapped in my apartment, which normally I prefer. The new fenders for my Jeep have arrived, and the box is officially as massive as the door to my apartment. Resting on top of it is the aluminum inner fender