The Bro Dozer Checkpoint and Cloud Seeding Plans

Socket Seekers I didn't die—only my will for human interaction did.

I just completed another cycle in my nice and peaceful shell. My therapist wouldn't agree, but I find avoiding people very relaxing.

I went to get another hit of Taco Bell grease and hot sauce. Since it was a holiday, I thought the humans who have infected my isolation would have all retreated to spend time with the people who spawned them and to get drunk—I live in a small town where that is an acknowledged coping mechanism. When I returned with my bag of grease, this Bro Dozer pulled in and slowed down. The meth addict in the passenger seat yelled, "Excuse me, Sir!" This annoyed me and I almost ignored them. But the stupid part of me that was raised to be polite turned around. Then the passenger said, "Sorry, excuse me, Ma'am." That sent me into shock. I hadn't tried to pass today; I was just going to get grease and hot sauce, so I didn't plan on actually interacting with a human being. This confirmed my fears: it's getting harder for me to pass as male or female 100% of the time.

Tomorrow is the day with my brother. I have been trying to figure out excuses not to go, but I am coming up empty. And I haven't watched enough Pinky and the Brain to know what plans fail to take over the world, so I guess I have to go. I am looking into cloud seeding to see if I can make it rain so we can't go, but it seems like a long shot.

He just texted me to confirm I will exit my self-imposed isolation to spend time with him. I would prefer if people would just act like I don't exist, like a fast-food worker who has already collected my money. We have been siblings for 50 years, so I guess that is too much to ask.

Useless Recap

• A localized holiday exodus failed to clear out the local Bro Dozer population.
• A drive-by gender correction resulted in severe psychological shock.
  
• Meteorological warfare (cloud seeding) is a viable alternative to family gatherings.
• A half-century of sibling memory retention remains highly inconvenient.
  
  

Disclaimer: To the global weather modification community, please don't sue me for researching cloud-seeding tech just to avoid lunch. Also, Taco Bell, your grease is a structural component of my weekend routine.