Procreating Potholes and Geriatric Profanity

Do any of you Socket Seekers have pain meds?

This morning I woke up with severe back pain. So let's review: I went to bed with no pain, woke up with back pain. What the fuck happened last night?
I slept really good, so was I moving furniture in my sleep? Was I doing exercises? That can't be it; I think I am allergic to exercise. Did I get in a fight with a pillow? One does look like it went twenty rounds with Nintendo's Bald Bull.

My Mustang has heated seats which are great for my back, so I might need to make a pilgrimage to get pasta tonight. Unfortunately, there is a battle to the death between my heated seats and my car's suspension. One is making me feel better while the other is trying to turn my spine into a crushed soda can. Unfortunately for my heated seats, I live in the Midwest where the only roads that get fixed are in neighborhoods that have an average yearly income of 250k or more. I think potholes are a protected species.

Do you think the back pain and the bad roads explain my inability to filter out the profanity that seems to be all-consuming in my work life? I was in a meeting yesterday and it must have been a contest about how many times I can use fuck in thirty minutes. I think it averages out to about five every two minutes. It's not a personal best, but I appear to be working on it. The problem is, before today, I didn't actually hear it, which was great. Then some fucking jerkface pointed it out and now I hear all of them.

I am over fifty, so I think it's too late to change now. Can you imagine being around me at 70+? Those poor nurses, changing my Depends while I am just spewing profanity about some inane show on tv.

Anyway, I am off to make my 40-minute drive to get pasta. Did you know heated seats keep food hot when you are traveling? I think that is what the passenger seat is for. Wish me luck as I cross the great expanse while trying to avoid the protected species that appear to be procreating at an alarming rate to obtain a massive amount of carbs that will make all the nutritionists in the world weep.

Useless Recap:

• My spine was violently targeted by an unknown overnight nocturnal entity.
• The regional infrastructure department has officially designated potholes as a protected species.
• My corporate vocabulary metrics have reached a steady baseline of 2.5 fucks per minute.
• Automotive luxury engineering functions perfectly as an industrial pasta insulation matrix.
  

Disclaimer: Bald Bull did not grant consent to have his name mentioned in my blog. He is referenced as a joke, and this constitutes fair use. Please don't sue me, Nintendo; I have a bad back and court chairs don't have lumbar support.