The Tears for Fears Deflection Strategy

Socket Seekers, This isn't a fun post,

I had therapy today. We talked about telling my brother that I am trans, and also that I have a deep affinity for ’80s new age music. She noted that hiding this massive secret is making it incredibly difficult for me to move forward, but I told her that I think I can comfortably share my love of Tears for Fears with him. She gently pointed out she wasn't talking about the music.

I told her about a recurring dream that has been terrorizing me—a lovely little midnight feature film about accidental discovery and family rejection. It is heavily tied to my choice to not come out during the grunge era, well before my hair turned gray. If you successfully hide who you are for thirty years, it causes the kind of dreams that freak you out for days.

In a desperate effort to cope with these thoughts, I went on Amazon and found a coupon for $1 off a box of Kleenex. That financial windfall should successfully get me through one or two more sessions. I have this distinct biological issue where when my therapist takes a total ice pick to my past memories, I start to cry, and then my brain starts sweating. This sweat immediately exits directly out of my nose in a localized effort to replicate the Mississippi River.

Apparently, paying a therapist is simply a formalized mechanism designed to release trapped water from the human body.

Useless Recap:

• Hiding secrets since the grunge era causes severe psychological wear and tear.
• Music deflection tactics are completely ineffective against a professional interrogator.
• My brain responds to emotional extraction by sweating directly out of my nose.
• Amazon coupon codes are the only thing insulating me from bankruptcy via tissue consumption.

Disclaimer: Tears for Fears did not authorize their discography to be used as a legal or medical shield against my family responsibilities. Please don't sue me, Big Tissue; I am already operating at an emotional deficit and my nose cannot support another corporate investigation.