Gas Station Sushi and 42 Fucking Bolts
Socket Seekers, you are in for a ride today.
My Lexapro must be in overdrive, so here we go. I have been over-analyzing my past relationships with everyone in my life. I do this cool thing where I stop responding, or when I do, I don't want to do anything or go anywhere. This apparently alienates people and they go away. I think this might have been an early indicator of my social anxiety, or I am just an asshole. Let's not think about that too hard, ok?
Apparently, Lexapro made me forget to eat. So in my need to eat late quickly, I made the agonizingly long drive of 3 miles to the local Sonic. There I obtained my coveted Cherry Slushie and some completely forgettable food that I think is legal to feed to humans, but you couldn't prove it.
After consuming my 5000-calorie portable heart attack, I sat down on the couch. At this exact moment, I heard a voice coming from the couch. It was saying it was thirsty and that it was tired of being blue. So my hand made a decision—which I am blaming on this new medication—to give the couch most of my 44-ounce, sugar-fueled ice crystals. This attempt must have been to see what shade of purple it could turn my couch. I kind of always wanted a purple couch, but not this way.
In the morning, my couch wasn't as purple as I thought it might be. So without thinking, I took my Lexapro. This medication will make you feel like you have eaten a pound of gas station sushi and followed it up with a pitcher full of diesel. So in a panic, I inhaled whatever I could find to prevent that feeling.
On other completely unrelated Lexapro brain-swirling things, I have the battery-powered "I don't want to install 42 bolts manually" ratchet. Not sure why Craftsman named it that, but hey, that is on them. In an apparent need to procrastinate working on my Jeep—because 42 FUCKING BOLTS—I took time to clean my headphones instead of doing the things I need to do.
I really hate this medication right now.
Useless Recap:
- Your couch isn't thirsty, don't listen to it.
- Lexapro makes you queasy.
- Navy blue couches don't show slushie stains.
- 42 FUCKING BOLTS, enough said.
Disclaimer: Sonic, I love your slushies and I probably have diabetes from them so please don't sue me. And to the makers of Lexapro: you couldn't put something in there to protect my stomach? BASTARDS!